I found the answer to the meaning of life. It finally dawned on me after another sleepless night.
Things happen in your life that make life very difficult. You can spend a lot of time trying to reconcile the past. Or. And this is the important part OR you can have a wonderful rest of your life.
I sit here sometimes lamenting about how childhood abuse, date rape, battered woman survival have made my life a living hell. But the fact of the matter is: I, yes, me, I made my life a living hell. How? By being stuck back there....In stuff that happened in the past.
This might sound 'simple' and you might be thinking, "well, DUH.", but honestly, when you are in the midst of flashbacks, it just isn't so easy to see the forest for the trees.
I was sitting here watching Brian's Song on HBO. Real tear jerker and I thought, "I hope that I don't lose G like that." Brian Piccolo died when he was only 26.
But I have been dead. I have been dead in this body. Paralyzed by things that I never had control over at the time. BUT and this is important...I can take control of it now. So what? So what? So what! It happened. It's over. They are gone and long out of my life. WOW.
Amazing realization. I cannot believe how long it took me to learn this. I can just let it go.
I gotta go now. I have to go play with my kids; fly a kite; blow bubbles; clean the house; make a pot of coffee-live MY life. It is MY life. WOW.
14 comments:
GOOD for you!!!!!!
I can hear the music now :) And see it, I may have to steal this idea from you ;)
BTW -- You may want to set your archives to monthly, or weekly, people would be able to see the vids better :) Your page loads all the way back from April.
I hope this doesn't sound pushy or rude :)
SHUT UP!!! It looks GREAT!!! :)
Good job girlie! Never forget your friends, we are always here to help, even when they say "Kimmy, I love you, but you don't look 27!" (My friend Deanna's comments on the walmart thing)
It looks good ;)
Well, you are the good insomniac! I have not figured out the meaning to life in all of my sleepless nights, so thanks!
Glad to know you feel better and just let everything go!
Brian's Song? Tear jerker indeed!
Luckily, the noise stopped late this afternoon! I hope that means they are done! I have headphones for the TV in our bedroom, so the hub can sleep when I am up all night!
Thanks for the compliments about the girls...
Get some sleep! LOL
I applaud and admire your courage and your spirit ~~ wow what a great post!
^5 To you! Great post and a hug.
Welcome back to life my friend. No one could have brought you where you are today. Sadly, it does take this sort of awakening to be free, and I am so glad you are. Enjoy you and your family.
Lois Lane
congratulations.
and happy re-birthday :)
I took my a while but I learned the same lesson. You need to let go in order to be free. Once I stopped worrying about things and placed my trust in God, all of a sudden blessings untold came my way.
I know it's a hard road getting there, but congrats on making it. We must live in the NOW. The past is gone, the future will take care of itself.
Peace to you!
Hey ask G, what my definition of happiness is....live it, love it and breath it.
Sometimes I wish I was more of it.
((((Renee)))))) Learning to live again is a hard road, but after a while, the bumps smooth out for a long, lovely ride! :) So glad that we are starting to drive down he road of life again. Isn't it beautiful? :)
Love you,
Sarah
wonderful post.
it is great when we find our way and realize how simple it is to be happy and move on.
I am smiling for you right now:)
hugs,
Karen
Renee,
I admire you. I could never watch Brian's song again. In fact, I refuse to watch any movie that has any sadness in it. I figured I have enough of my own sadness, I don't need to watch more. My problem is that I do say, "yes, that is in the past" but then sometimes I see other people who haven't had the hurts I have had and I feel jealous and still a little angry. I don't know how to let that go and stop wishing it had all been different.
One has to be ready to let it go. Like Lois said, no one could have taken you to this spot ... you had to get here on your own. Yay you!
:)
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