Fascinating

This horse is crafted from driftwood. Y ou would be amazed by the beautiful sculptures that the artist does-and not just horses, but mostly horses. My little sister sent me about one dozen pictures of her work and her website-the artist's, not my sister's:)

http://www.jansch.freeserve.co.uk/index.htm

Visit her site. It is more amazing than anything that I can describe.

I have been working many, many hours. It is not going well, so silence reigns. I hate silence, but just realized that there are times when I wrap myself in it for comfort.

Originally, I was signed on for part time work. It has been increased to full time. My supervisor wants EVERYTHING and I mean every slip of paper and duty completed by the end of the work day. It is almost impossible to finish everything in one day.

She trained me for two days and then went back to her office and has come down a day here and there to train me more, but she doesn't understand why I am not "getting it". It's hard to understand something that you have not really been prepared for.

I am no dummy and have always been a high producer, but this gig is hard to grasp. There are many new things to learn. I am about ready to give up and that is not like me. I am in a quandary. I am sad, too. No one likes to be a loser. That is how I feel...Ignorant. My supervisor is so frustrated. I told her from the beginning that I am visual and "hands on." That is how I learn best. She doesn't understand why it isn't staying with me when she makes me watch her do something.

Today, like every weekend for a month, I went to the office on my own time to try to get a handle on things. I printed out this online training manual and have been reading it, but she so much as told me that this coming week is my last to make it work. She said, "I really want this to work, but I have concerns."

I have to admit that I am feeling like it would be better to just leave. It has in many ways been a nightmare. Yet, it did get me back out into the world again. I leave my home each morning and go to work. I have left our home more in the past two months than I left home all of last year. I was virtually a shut in...So it has been a good thing, but I wish it was going better.

I did see an advertisement for a great job, though. So off I send my updated resume; time to see what is in store for the next leg...

Blessed Easter to you.

"The known soldier"

Thank you Staff Sergeant Dwight Morgan.

Marine Staff Sgt. Dwight J. Morgan 24, of Mendocino, California.

Morgan died when a Marine CH-53E crashed in a remote region

60 kilometers south of Bagram in Northern Afghanistan.

He was assigned to Marine Heavy Helicopter Squadron 361 (HMH-361),

the "Flying Tigers" of Marine Aircraft Group 16, Combined Task Force 58,

3rd Marine Aircraft Wing,

Marine Corps Air Station, Miramar, California. Died on January 19, 2002.

Thank you Colonel Skinner-Died on helicopter as it lifted him out of Vietnam for his return to his family. His tour in the war zone was over. Then God called him for a tour in Heaven.

Thank you Captain, Ret., dad

Vietnam Veteran

Career Marine.

Thank you to my brother in law, an Air Force drill sergeant,

two cousins, home safe from Iraq and three friends currently deployed.

I am a military brat and proud of it.

God bless our Armed Forces around the world and at home.

Don't Tread on Me.

Land of dreams...

"give me your tired; your poor, your huddled masses." The Statue of Liberty sits in New York harbor greeting people from around the world. I do not understand the immigration mess. I do not understand even when I consider the events of September 11th.

This is a crazy world. A dangerous world, but if we lose our compassion for others, then we have lost the meaning of the American Dream.

Immigrants have come from every corner of the world to seek a better life for themselves and their families. I know that all of us would find the date when our ancestors immigrated if we looked up our family trees.

In every culture there are people who need help. There are poor every where. In fact, you probably know someone who goes to sleep hungry each night. There is so much discrimination in the world. Even in the year 2006. I am so sad about that.

I think we need to admit that we have a lot of work to do in race relations, poverty and hunger. We need to work on it every day and begin the job at home-with our children.

Thankfully immigrants came to this country in the first place. I can only hope that we will welcome people home again. The American Dream is dying a painful death...not only for those who are trying to make it here, but for those of us who have lived here for generations. Fear or apathy will only breed harm.

You know someone who is hungry. You know someone who wants for a necessity. These people live that every day. It's time to open our arms and minds again...

As Tears Go By
Rolling Stones
Marianne Faithfull

It is the evening of the day,
I sit and watch the children play.
Smiling faces I can see
But not for me,
I sit and watch as tears go by.
My riches can't buy everything,
I want to hear the children sing.
All I hear is the sound
Of rain falling on the ground,
I sit and watch as tears go by.
It is the evening of the day,
I sit and watch the children play.
Doing things I used to do
They think are new,
I sit and watch as tears go by.
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm ...

I find this song soothing...as heart breaking as it is; it makes me ponder things. How to make it better for children...how to spare children....that is what my life is really about. Rather that is what I want my life to be about. I used celebrity drops in this song to ask our listeners to call in and/or drop by our radio-athon. We raised money for the Variety Club. It was a perfect song to get people to open their wallets...I love children.

As an aside, I love Jon Edwards new show on WE (Women's Entertainment). Jon Edwards Cross Country. Amazing to have that talent. Amazing.

Goodbye, Mommy

She couldn't have been more than four years old. Her little face against the cold window. She stared out into the night watching the cars leave the parking lot. Tears streamed down her face and her sobs were oddly controlled for one so young. She waved to each car because she wasn't sure which one was theirs. "Good bye, Mommy," she cried, "I love you. Good bye, Mommy."

A couple feet away, her mother stood. The little girl had wandered off and the mother was teaching her a lesson. A young sales associate-obviously of high school age was moved by the little girl's tears. She wanted to walk over to the little girl and scoop her up and tell her that her mommy was here. But the little girl's mommy waved the teenager off. No one was allowed to rescue the little girl. The mommy didn't let anyone rescue her.

The mother should have been rescued herself. If someone had rescued that mommy, she might not have stood there inflicting pain on her little girl.

I see it as if it is happening right now. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is like that. One step up and two steps back. Today, I realized that the many monsters in my life included the people that I expected to protect me. The need for me to protect my children is so strong and unwavering. I do not understand how someone could stand by while their child cried for any reason.

Tonight I am standing in that window watching all of the cars drive away and I think that I will never be home again. In a way, it might have been an easier life.

I keep accepting things, but then a new dam bursts and visions visit relentlessly. I wonder how many more nightmares I have to relive?