Another turning point; a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist; directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test and don't ask why.
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.(music break)
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
18 year old loves that song. I don't know where he is. Maybe that is best. I texted him that I love him and always will. I worry and wonder where he is. Nights are long, but I hope that they are short, warm and comfortable for him.
He called a couple of days ago, but it ended in him swearing at me again. Right now, I guess he just needs to be out there to see what "reality" truly means.
I feel guilty and afraid, but there are times when Little Big Boy yells at me and I know what is happening. The yelling took over our home, so it was time to put an end to it. It just seems to have cost so much either way.
When Number One Daughter was in a daycare program, she changed rooms and began to call it "the yelling school." I popped in unexpectedly one afternoon and discovered that "the yelling school," was a very accurate description of her new room. The teacher was yelling at a student and grabbed something out of the little girl's hand. The look on both of their faces were awful...one out of control, the other fright filled.
I reprimanded the teacher and took my daughter and the other girl to another teacher's room and asked for the center director. She wasn't in and I left a message for her to call me. I told G what had happened and we never stepped in that facility again; no one was going to treat our daughter like that. It was a bad situation and I made certain that the district HQ knew what had happened.
Now I realize that we were all yelling in our home. It was time to end the yelling. I do not want Little Big Boy or Number One Daughter to think of this as "the yelling home." So much to repair.The silence from 18 year old is a weapon I suspect. That alone makes this necessary, but it isn't easy. Ten years from now, I hope that the silence was worth it for all of our sakes.
10 comments:
I know you will get through this
That song is one of the saddest I know. A friend in HS died in a car accident, and that song was played at his funeral.
I am sorry about all of this going on for you. Sometimes it is the silence that speaks voulmes when there are no words to be spoken ( let alone yelled). My prayers are with you.
Love,
Sarah
We had a yelling home for a while. Now it's only loud at times. We're working on it. It's a slow process. Good luck to you. I'll remember you and your family in my prayers.
So much to look forward to; so much to worry about. Parenthood.
Parenting requires so much investment without knowing what the pay off will be. No easy task for sure. You just hope...and hope can be all that you have for a while.
Thinking of you,
Deb
Renee, it is hard, very hard. You have to stick to it though.
A small part has come through for me. Ashley has included us on her graduation list.
My thoughts are with you always.
raising kids is the hardest job of all. I have one grown, married and the father of two. he still struggles to accept the responsibilities of being an adult. I let them (he and his wife) work it out alone and they know I am here with love and advice if they want to ask for it. sometimes they do, so I gently speak it. other than that, I stay on the sidelines where I need to be. we all need to work it out in our own heads and try to head in the right direction.
I still have one left at home and she is 16 now. I think in many ways that she has seen some of the mistakes her brother has made and it has been really helpful to her. she always says, I am not going to do that--I know what will happen.
she'll make her own mistakes and grow from them. we all do. just trust in knowing that it does take time and eventually it works itself out. as long as they know you love them, that is the most important thing you can do.
hugs,
Karen
I have this to look forward to? I am sorry you are going thru this. I hear stories and most have wonderful outcomes though. Try not to fret, it will all work out. Hang in there!
Hugs,
Nancy
Thinking of you.....
Love,
Sarah
My friend, you have been so loving and so kind to me through all of these weeks, months. I never knew. I never knew. So much suffering and so much pain in your life. And yet you have been the shepherd's crook pulling me out of the deep water over and over.
I am sending you the warmest and most gentle of hugs today. I know you have made the best of all possible decisions here and yet I know your pain. I am throwing you a life jacket and a shepherd's crook today.
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