Shed our skin

I do not know where I am going.
I don't know if I am where I should be or
if I should be moving
forward,
sideways,
backwards.
I do not know.

There are times when I feel like things are as they should be, but more often than not, I am wondering if this is the right place and time.

I am searching for balance. I am wondering when I will be ready.
Ready for what?
I do not even know that, but I have an idea.
Is it fair to want to be first?
Is it better to be last?

I am searching for answers, but only finding more questions. I am looking for my life, but only see the results of the past. I see my first child floundering and wonder how I can spare my little ones the same pain. I look at my husband and wonder what happened to my friend? I wonder if he asks himself the same question.

It's like being a snake...the time rolls by...then we stretch and grow, but we do not grow in one piece. We have to shed our skin...only then can we move on...only then can we truly grow.