Hodge podge

We bought our first home in October. It is old...over 100 years. The electrical is the old fuse kind. We do not have AC. It is 93 degrees outside, 110 inside and we are going hunting for an efficient AC unit that we can put in my room for these kinds of days...

Little Big Boy is potty training himself!!!! He just all of a sudden started to tell us that he needed to go potty. We tried earlier, but he didn't get the hand of it. Well they say that when they are ready they just do it.

We are all sunburned. I never understand how we can burn when we use the highest SPF that we can find. Number One Daughter tanned. That is it...she is the only one.

Last night, 18 year old bought dinner for all of us!!! Then about two hours later, he bought ice cream for all of us, too. WOW-huge progress.

We are off to seek treasures at garage sales. Have a happy day.

Freak out

Last night G, Number One Daughter, Little Big Boy and I went out to dinner. It was soooo hot and humid. A family was sitting at a table across from us and they had a little baby boy. I love babies and was admiring him from our table. One of the women explained to me that she was the baby's grandma. Then she said as she pointed at Little Big Boy, "You are his grandma?" {Freak out!}

"The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be. Ain't what she used to be. Ain't what she used to be..."

Truth be told, I cried after we left the restaurant. Boo Hoo. As Bugs Bunny would say, "Ehhhhhhh, Shut up!!!"

I have my 18 year old, but I never had a family. I never had a good man. This is my "second time around." I was 42 when I had Little Big Boy. You know what that's okay. This is the best time of my life.

I look at my little ones and my husband and I think, I am so lucky. I am trying to concentrate on that. I am trying to keep my face to the sunshine. I am trying to make myself over.

Yeah, it hurt when she said that, but so what? I have the best of both worlds. I struggled with my Oldest. Single mom and all that comes with it. And now, I have a great husband and help. I have children who are loving, creative, compassionate, soulful, happy. This is the life. I'm one lucky mommy and I know it.

I wish that she hadn't said that, but I will be okay because this really is the best time of my life. They keep saying 40 is the new 30! I AM ONLY JUST BEGUN!!!!!


Now, step aside Deary, I want to look in the yellow pages for a good cosmetic surgeon. F, f.... F-a...F-a-c. F-a-c-e-l-i-f-t. Oh and then, b-e-a-u-t-i-c-i-a-n...color the gray... sigh. Vanity wins.

You are amazing

I watched you from afar
While you played in the sprinkler.
You had a big smile on your face...Both of you.

I love to watch you play.
It is the best way to learn your capabilities;
Your talents.

Oh, my Number One Daughter,
You are an artist.
Painter. Etcher. Singer. Dancer.
People will be enchanted by your crafts.
They will utter, "Ooooh." and "Ahhhh."
As they look at the dreams behind your creativity.


Oh, my Little Big Boy,
You are an artist.
Builder. Charmer. Constructor. Novice speller.
People will be enchanted by your compassion.
They will utter, "Awwww." and "Wow."
As they see you interact with people and build your buildings.


You, my children, are amazing.

Anxiety attacks

I have anxiety attacks. I have for years. One of the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is the most debilitating thing.

I actually feel like I am dying when I am having one. A few times they have been so bad, that they mocked a heart attack to a T. I had to take nitroglycerine, but it wasn't a heart attack. Stress tests proved that. Well, you would think that logic would solve the issue. You would think that I would be able to tell myself that it is ONLY an anxiety attack, but that isn't how it works.

Anxiety attacks defy reason. They defy symptoms. They defy me. I continue to fight the battle with them. This morning for example, I had myself convinced that I had a brain tumor. It is funny when I write it. Literally funny, but during the panic attack, the short circuit in my brain tells my reason that the headache that I have between the right ear and the right side back of my head is brain cancer. It tells my brain this and the brain reacts with alarm.

It is the fight, flight or freeze instinct. I know this so well. I freeze when I am scared. It comes from being told to be quiet or I'll kill so and so. Or I will hurt so and so or I'll kill you. Well we all have the instinct, but mine is hypersensitive. Don't you LOVE that word: hypersensitive. Therapy-speak for you rely on it so much because you relied on it for survival. There were several bogeymen in my life and it made my brain act like one. WOW. That is a revelation. My brain 'learned' to act like a bogeyman was always here. That way, I would always be on alert and nothing could ever hurt me...Thus, I am hurting myself, now. How can that be? How can something so wrong be inflicted on you and then you learn to inflict it on yourself. It doesn't make sense; yet, it makes perfect sense. And that is the sad truth of it. It is a loop without end.

Well this morning was such a morning. Pain in my head. Fear in my heart. Couldn't breathe. Well, I am supposed to talk myself down from it. The problem is I have always countered the problem with eating. Stuff it down. It is also a survival instinct. "Don't tell. Don't tell. They will be killed if you tell. You will die if you tell." That is my brain on trauma; no panic room to run to-no safety net. Just pure fright. Want to know what my battered brain is thinking? Where were the lions when I needed them? Why didn't lions come and chase off the villains? Ah, but that is the loop getting going again! S-T-O-P! I am in control.

The self-talk doesn't always work, so I have to enlist someone to help talk me down or just listen. In a way, it is better that I have to TELL someone what is happening. I was told not to tell and now I have to tell. It is calming. It doesn't always work, but when it does, I am filled with a sense of peace and well being. I wish that it would last longer. That is my immediate goal: make the peace last longer...More than an hour...More than a half a day...More than a day... More than two....And so on.

Some day I will feel good for stretches. Is that normal? Do people really feel happy and peace for stretches? That is what I want to experience. Nothing extraordinary...Just a stretch of peace and calm. No worries. I just want a stretch without worries. It could happen. It can happen. It will happen. Self-talk engaged. Have a happy day.

Lions lay down w/the lamb

It is hot in Ethiopia...hot, dark, quiet. For ages tribal marriage rituals include kidnapping pre-teen girls and forcing them into marriage. To get the young girls to accept their fate, they are beaten unmercifully and raped. Then beaten and raped again and again. All this to get her to accept a forced marriage.

Such a case took place in Ethiopia. The 12-year-old girl was beaten, cut, bruised and who knows what else. Then a miracle took place...

Four lions came to the girl's rescue. They drove off the seven men who where abusing the little girl. They chased off the men and then they surrounded the girl. No one knows why. No explanation can be found; after all, lions don't speak. There is speculation that the lions heard the little girl's cries and they thought that it was a lion cub. Yet, is that really what happened?

Then another miracle took place: the girl's parents, accompanied by the authorities located the girl in the middle of the four lions and the lions left. Just left the girl there for her parents to envelope with comforting hugs and kisses.

The lions didn't eat the girl. The lions didn't attack her parents; didn't attack the authorities. The lions drove off the bad guys. Rescued the little girl and returned her to her parents where all little girls belong.

Yes, it was a miracle and another miracle in a place where God is sorely needed. God must cry when men kidnap little girls to force them into a marriage. God must sob when little girls are raped and beaten to get them to submit to a fate that they have no choice in. Indeed, God must slam his fist on the clouds because anger overflows-yes, even God gets angry at these awful abuses to his babies. HE must rage that it happens again and again and abuse isn't limited to Ethiopia, which is a real tragedy. We pride ourselves on being so civilized, but we aren't because children are abused and murdered every day. (BTW, no pun intended.)

I believe God became angry and sent in four kings of the jungle to defend the defenseless. How I wish it could be so where ever crimes happen against children. God was there though and it was miraculous. God escorted the girl's parents to their daughter and then he called the lions back home. My God, how wonderful YOU are. Amen.

Father's Day awakening

Little Big Boy said, "Happy Father's Day, Dad!" Then a pause- "Happy Father's Day!" to his sister and then to me:)

Do you want to know what your present is G? A NAP!!!! I read it on MSNBC and it said it was the one thing that all dads want. Then Little Big Boy said, "What's my present?" "No, Honey," I said, "we give presents to Daddy on Father's Day." I moved on to the next subject and all of a sudden, Little Big Boy burst into tears! This IS a special day, his little mind told him and he should get a present. A little gift. After all, he hadn't gotten a gift at the last special day, which was Number One Daughter's kindergarten graduation.

I looked at my Little Big Boy as tears streamed down his face and his lips formed a frown that I had not seen before. His heart was literally broken...and by me. "Oh, Little Big Boy," I said with great concern and affection, "I am so very sorry. You are right, you should have a present today."

He wiped away his tears and looked at me. It took several minutes to stop the tears from flowing and the frown will be etched on my heart forever. His little pouting face and broken heart are my fault and it hurts like only a parent can understand.

After a few minutes more, he asked me what his present was. I replied a new kite! His heart soared. Yes!! A new kite to cast our cares upon and toss into the wind...way up like Mr. Dick. The perfect heart-mender-a kite. All was forgiven and forgotten right then.

Now Little Big Boy doesn't know yet that he has the greatest gift of all already on Father's Day. His daddy is a good man, a provider, student, coach. On Father's Day, Little Big Boy will always have a present, the best present on Father's Day and when he is old enough to recognize it, he will be about ready to have children of his own.

A little of this and some of that

Today I received a go blog urself mouse pad. It made me smile. There is something interesting about the reaction that you have to something that a celebrity had a hand in. Anyway, thank you, Rosie...thank you. I appreciate your gift.

The kids have been making cards for their Daddy for tomorrow. Cute pictures and colorings. They just want to get out of the house. It has been a dreary and chilly few days.

Things to deal with weighing on my mind, so I don't have much to say.

That is it.

God bless you tomorrow. Have a good weekend and take care.

Out of the mouth and minds of babes

Last night we were in the backyard. The sprinkler was on for the kids to play in and for the second night in a row, the kids were filling up the top to the sandbox with water. Their homemade swimming pool was small, slippery, but functional. After playing in the water for a while, Number One Daughter came up to me as I was tending the tomatoes and asked, "Did Jesus really walk on water?" Yes, I replied, "he did." I thought, "WOW! She is having a moment of realization about God and Jesus. Child's play is a prayer. Offered up in little moments of play and awareness. She then stated, "I WANT to do that and I want to crawl on water like a baby, too. Or maybe crawl on it like a kitten." Yes, child's play and Jesus is smiling because a child wants to imitate Him and play games with him.

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This morning, Number One Daughter is playing with bubbles. They are from a small ring that she can wear. Little Big Boy is chasing the bubbles. (Aside: when my family has flatulence or rather, when the kids were babies, I would say, "YOU POPPED!" Thus, that is our reference to the body's expulsion of gas.) So Number One Daughter is blowing bubbles and Little Big Boy is popping them...before he can get to one, it lands on my face and explodes, with Number One Daughter calling the play by play, "Mommy! That bubble farted on your face!" Obviously, she had learned a new word in school and found the appropriate application for it. The bubble popped. Therefore, it farted. So much for mommy's 'bright' ideas.

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Yesterday evening, I watched a part of the movie, Now and Then-female coming of age story with Rosie, Rita Wilson, Melanie Griffith and Demi Moore. The character that would grow up to be Melanie's character stuffed her bra. She was very concerned with appearances. Later, I was making dinner. Number One Daughter kept asking me to look at her, but I was annoyed and telling her I was busy. After I realized that I had been mean, I apologized and called her back and under her top, she had stuffed construction paper to form size C cup breasts. Ah! In such a hurry. Such a hurry, indeed.

Butterflies

"Mommy, look! A butterfly," Number One Daughter exclaimed. Big Little Boy said, "WOW!" (Wonder where he picked up that whopper of a phrase? Hmmmm????) Number One Daughter wanted to catch it.

"No let's not catch it. Butterflies only live for three days." Oops! What was I thinking?

"Three days? Why Mommy?" She asked. "Yes," I replied, "three days, but to a butterfly, three days is like 100 years."

I have explained to my children that people die when they are about 100 years old. When someone dies, Number One Daughter asks me if they were 100. I always say that they were. It saves them from some of the worries that they would have. It all began when Number One Daughter asked me if Mommies and Daddies die and how old they are. Well, I decided to protect her from worrying about us. Then if a case comes up about a mommy or daddy dying before they are 100, we can address it as such.

Well, a young mommy died. And Number One Daughter knew that she wasn't 100. So she asked me why she had died if she wasn't 100. Well, I told her, God needed an Angel to watch over all of the babies in Heaven. "Oh, the ones that are waiting to come to our family?" she asked innocently. "Well, we aren't going to have anymore babies," I replied, "I think she might be watching over the babies that will come to your family."

I think she was happy about that. I think that she realizes that she has a way to go before her babies are ready, but for a moment and several moments prior, I have seen her playing the role of Mommy. She is good at it. She is gentle and loving and concerned. She will be a fine mommy and it makes me happy. She will point out the butterflies and keep them safe for her babies...and so on and so forth...the circle of life goes on.

There were no Mirrors in my Nana's House

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
There were no mirrors in my Na's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

I never knew that my skin was too black.
I never knew that my nose was too flat.
I never knew that my clothes didn't fit.
I never knew there were things that I'd missed,
cause the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun);
...was in her eyes.

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

I was intrigued by the cracks in the walls.
I tasted, with joy, the dust that would fall.
The noise in the hallway was music to me.
The trash and the rubbish just cushioned my feet.
And the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
...was in her eyes.

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

The world outside was a magical place.
I only knew love.
I never knew hate,
and the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
...was in her eyes.

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

"Chil', look deep into my eyes."
"Chil', look deep into my eyes."
"Chil'..."

There is a version of this book on Nick, Jr. Navigate to Nana's House on Nick, Jr. go to the link and click on "Play Now". Then click on stories. You will find five thumbprints. On the right there are four small ones. The top right is the link to There Were No Mirrors in Nana's House. Visit...it is a beautiful song and I fell in love with the little animated girl. She is adorable. That is how vivid my imagination is: she seems real and huggable to me.
ENJOY!

K-5 Graduation

It is official: Number One Daughter is a first grader! Yesterday morning, the kindergarten teachers played Pomp and Circumstance on kazoos as they marched the graduates before us. Then as we sat on the bleachers in the gymnasium little kindergarteners in four classes came up to accept their certificate diplomas. They wore hand crafted caps and were cute as buttons.


Some forgot to shake hands with their right hands and some looked embarassed beyond belief, but all of them looked proud.

There were four classes of about 20 graduates, which means there were about 80 mommies in attendance. And there were grandmas and grandpas and daddies. And when the principal announced that he was presenting the Class of 2017, I burst into tears. The ONLY mother in the house who was crying. The ONLY mother with tears running down my cheeks. I smiled as I applauded. Then I looked at G. He had tears in his eyes while he was clapping, too. Out of all of the fathers in attendance, he was the only one moved to tears.

Then, I looked at Number One Daughter's teacher and there before 80 mommies and 80 daddies and numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents, our daughter's teacher was crying. She smiled through her tears and it confirmed something that I had known all along: she loved our Number One Daughter and her classmates. It was comforting to see her cry. Not just because no one else was, but because I gave her charge over my precious girl and she took the trust seriously and to heart.

You know that book, Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten? Well, our daughter's teacher gets it...she understood this all year long. What a blessing.

Our only girl is now a first grader and I wish Mrs. B could go along for the ride.

Trans-plant

Number One Daughter had a fever today and didn't go to graduation eve today at K-5. Her tummy hurt and it was worse when she walked, so I thought it might be that doggone pink finger of an organ that no one knows the purpose of. After G got home from work, she settled down and finally ate something. Then she said, "I think I was just hungry." ahahahaha. Well that came after the emergency phone call to G to ask him if I should run her into the doctor. He suggested that we wait it out and if she began vomiting that we should go to the ER. Thankfully, we didn't have to make that trip.

Later on, I went outside with the kids today and I let them water the tomatoes. They had much fun squirting me with the hose and "accidentally" getting wet, even though today they weren't supposed to. Well, to know me is to also know that when it comes to fun-it usually wins out over silly restrictions, like 'no getting wet today.'

I was talking about transplanting the tomatoes, which G had done yesterday and Number One Daughter asked what it meant. I explained that it was moving something from one place to another. She thought about it for a moment and then said, "Oh! Trans-plant-tomatoes. Trans-walk-to the park. Trans-ride in the car to the store." Well I had to chuckle, though I was trying hard not to out right laugh, which I knew would hurt her feelings. I like her definition of trans-moving something, though.

Meanwhile, Youngest decided that he would water everything with the hose, himself, me, Daughter Number One, plants, chairs and then he washed "Heaven." He said simply, "For rainbows."

We picnicked outside tonight as it is hot and humid again...my kingdom for central air! Well, my kingdom for a lot of things right this minute, but truth be told, I like my little kingdom. It's filled with golden moments and little firsts that will be gone all too soon. It is filled with love and struggle and all of the things that make me appreciate the trans-moments. My kingdom is little, but it is surrounded by a very large heart and soul.

Early Daddies' Day

One of the great aspects of reading blogs is that there is an opportunity to be surprised. Charmed. Entertained. Reminded. Yeah, that is it r-e-m-i-n-d-e-d. Reminded of surprises and firsts.

Children are angels and I mean REAL angels. God's angels. Gifts from Heaven with wings. Angels love children. I believe that angels surround children at all times. Unfortunately, there is little an angel can do to intervene when a child is being hurt, but they surround children and I think children know this. I think they see angels. They can because they do not have all of the doubt that we accumulate over time.

Lately, though, I have realized that we all see angels. We all do and some of us write about them in our blogs. Sometimes we become angels, too. These are the blogs that I like to visit. I know that my blog has been overwhelmed with issues lately, but my true joy is writing about the wonderful things that happen with my children.

It is easy to find blogs written by mommies. We share easily and freely. I have come to enjoy visiting two blogs by daddies...one a daddy with one year's mileage: Me and My Girl and the other a brand new daddy: Amateur Dad . They are filled with wonder and awe. These daddies are funny and charming...as charming as their children.


G was as charmed when Number One Daughter and Youngest were born. He is a good daddy and I think witnessing the birth of his children via C-Section influenced his decision to be a neonatal RN. It is where he will do a lot of good. I am unable to separate myself from other's pain, so I could never witness sick babies and their parent's struggles. He can separate himself enough to try to help babies and parents live life...even if that little life lasts only for a few minutes.

G is a good man and when I visit Me and My Girl and Amateur Dad, I am reminded of the awe that he experienced when he became a daddy. There are angels among us and sometimes they spell their name: D-a-d-d-y.

Say farewell to our teachers

What a year! My family was blessed with the best teachers and administrators. Sure we had our glitches, too, but all in all it was a great school year.

Number one daughter is having growing pains. She wants to stay in kindergarten, "forever." Sigh. Youngest just wants to GO to school...And Oldest has an appointment this summer with school.

Youngest can't wait to get in. Number one daughter wants to be there forever. Oldest can't wait to get out.


Life is like that. We, "hurry...hurry...hurry" to get where we are going. We rush to move forward and get a move on. Full-steam ahead. Full throttle.

Today, I just want to try to take it at 35 m.p.h. I know that I can fly through a day, but what I REALLY want to know is if I can glide through one. Can I not gloss over the special things and take time to appreciate them. Keep the television and computer off and give my undivided attention to my family. No distractions. No barriers. Just us.

Youngest can't wait to get in. Number one daughter wants to be there forever. Oldest can't wait to get out. And I want back in.

The zoo

Number one daughter and her kindergarten class went to the zoo on Friday. Husband was one of the chaperones. I had been concerned about Number Ond Daughter going all the way to the westside of Milwaukee and I was glad when I convinced Husband to go with her.

Her favorite animals were the goats and the giraffes. She saw my "pet" polar bear Zero, too. He holds a special place in my heart because I met and played with him when I was a midday radio personality. He was swimming in his pool and made a great impression on her. She also enjoyed the sea lions. They are dependable. They are always on the move, so she was treated to their antics.

Youngest wanted to go with them, "so, so, so bad," but of course he couldn't. He and I spent the day playing and creating. We painted and colored and played outside with the soccer balls. We have lawn darts, too and those are fun.

Oldest is going by school today. The senior class exited yesterday. Sigh. Time does fly.

Yesterday we grilled out. Worked soil for the garden...I have 11 green tomatoes!!! Whooooo hoooooooo. Zucchini, cilantro, oregano and spinach round out the vegies and herbs. I wanted to plant so much more, but spring never happened and we went from frost to 77 degrees...and a dew point near 70, which means that I am dying. I hate humidity. It makes my asthma flare and I cannot breathe. But there is a cure:

Yesterday in the heat of the garden tending, Husband found our Blues Clues sprinkler. The kids loved it! Oh Blue's ears twirl and she has a watering can and there are a million little fountains that shoot water into the air. Oldest came out and sat with us for a while, too, so it was especially nice. The kids ran and played and I enjoyed the millions of little rainbows dancing around Number One Daughter and Youngest.

The rainbows danced as if they knew without a doubt that my children are the pot of gold. Yes, I am rich, indeed.

He's home

There is a lot of tension. There are a lot of consequences. He came home yesterday. There are rules.

I am also glad to have him home. It is very hard to relax, but we are trying.

Pedophile on the loose

Former teacher guilty of sexual abuse released Stephen Wierenga was convicted of assaulting student at South in 2003

By Eric LaRoseSheboygan Press Staff

A former South High School teacher who was convicted of sexually assaulting one of his students has been released from prison.

Stephen Wierenga, 59, was sentenced in March 2003 to four years in prison for sexually assaulting one of his students, child enticement and possession of child pornography.
Sheboygan Police Department officials said Thursday that Wierenga was released on parole May 3 and is living in the 500 block of Erie Avenue. Police said they would have notified the public sooner but they just received notification of his release.

Wierenga had 70 to 80 sexual encounters with a male student, beginning when the boy was 14, over a 3 1/2-year period, according to the criminal complaint. After allegations surfaced, investigators seized and searched Wieren-ga’s computer and found eight images of child pornography. He pleaded no contest to charges on four of them.

A 35-year-veteran of the Sheboygan Area School District, Wierenga resigned in February 2002 from his language arts teacher post at South High.

Because Wierenga's offenses pre-dated Wisconsin's truth in sentencing law, he was eligible for parole after a quarter of his term and was up for mandatory release after two-thirds of his sentence.

He will be under 24-hour electronic monitoring.

As part of his parole, Wierenga is to have no contact with minors or the victim, he is not allowed to consume alcohol, he must comply with all sex offender rules and he must comply with the Wisconsin Sex Offender Registration Program for the rest of his life.

Police are stressing that Wierenga has served the sentence imposed on him and he is not wanted by police at this time.

For more information on Wierenga’s release, call the Sheboygan Police Department Community Policing Unit at 459-3341.

Reach Eric LaRose at elarose@sheboygan-press.com and 453-5167.
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READERS RESPOND

“I am stunned that a pedophile has been released into our community after serving about half of his sentence. Stephen Wierenga was in a position of trust and authority when he sexually abused a 14-year-old South High Student. The student was abused for 3 1/2 years. The sentence handed down was only four years. Wierenga is already out of prison. Who knows how many more years of therapy and help the youth will need to make sense of his abuse? The real crime is that so little punishment was required for robbing a child of his peace of mind. Shame on our judiciary. Shame on the law. Indeed, shame on us for allowing this to happen.”
— Mountain Lover

Re-framing it...

My younger sister sent this to me yesterday:

A little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning.

The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child. Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword, would cut through the sky.

Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school. As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile.

Another and another were to follow quickly and with each the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile. When the mother's car drew up beside the child she lowered the window and called to her, "What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?" The child answered, "I am trying to look pretty. God keeps taking my picture."

May God bless you today as you face the storms that come your way.

Kicked out

I have just kicked my 18 year old out of my house. He walked away with a black duffle bag in his hand. The pain is so white hot that I cannot breathe. The tears are burning my cheeks like they are acid and not salt water. My soul is crying an ocean of tears.

Dedicated to Lightfeather...

I love you, Lightfeather...