I have been thinking about life lately. Pondering goals and options, like the ocean rolling and mulling over its sandy bottom. Depend-able, the ocean. Waves roll over thoughts that escape you and me.Perhaps it is because the Golden Globe awards were on this evening. Actors and actresses have to reinvent themselves over and over to remain or re-emerge on the A-list. Madonna is the epitome of it. It must be wonderful to have the resources to reinvent yourself from scratch every other year.
It seems that I have spent my lifetime trying to make sense of it. Of this. Of me and my life. I think that I have been able to know myself best when I was working in the Redwoods. On mountain tops where you realize that you are not significant in the scheme of things. Not because I am worthless, but because the things that have happened to me in my lifetime mean nothing in the scheme of Heaven and Earth.
The bumps in my life would not even equal one ring in the life of a Redwood, so why should I take it all so seriously? One hundred years from now, my ancestors will not know my battles or struggles, but they will walk in a park or on a mountain top where I stood. A place where my heart and mind soared to the Heavens. If I can leave anything, it is this: the same feeling for them. For my children and their children's children. I wish them the same sense of belonging and awe that I experienced as I stood atop the most beautiful mountains in the west.
When you stand on top of a mountain you are greeted by the comfort of the view that lies beneath. I wish I could recall the author of this tidbit and it goes something like this-loosely quoted:
"...So why do we do it? Why do we walk and hunger and tire and keep walking until we reach the summits in this great, great land? The reward is the view at our feet..."
5 comments:
You know, reinventing yourself sounds like you don't know who you are and are trying to figure it out by putting on different personalities. I don't need to reinvent myself, or even invent myself. I am me and I strive to be the best me I can. Sure, I have faults and struggle to overcome and improve them. But that doesn't change who I am. We have so many pressures from outside trying to tell us who we should be, what we should look like, what we should like and want. What's wrong with just being?
As you said, in 100 years, no one is going to remember who you really were. Even if you get lucky enough to be "famous" after a while the mythical you gets created. People remember what they wanted you to be and not what you were. So enjoy being yourself.
Hello Vince-You raise wonderful points...not to "reinvent myself" for the sake of being something else-reinventing my opinion of me. Reinventing how I see myself and my life. In essence, I think what I mean is to be at peace with myself. Accepting of my flaws and the horrors that make me who I am. Just to accept my life for what it is-my life and move on.
I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out why things happen and reliving the horror because they say that it is the only way to truly move on from it. I think the real idea here is that I am at a point where I realize that no amount of therapy or reliving the events will change them. Or more to the point-the sting of them is wearing thin and I am ready to live in the moment.
Quoting Edna Mode from The Incredibles: "I never visit the past; it distracts from 'the now.'"
:) Renee
Renee,
I came to thank you for visiting my little blog and leaving a comment about my son's picture!(there are tons more..LOL)
While I was here I found the link for Disney Family Fun Online. This is such a great site and I want to thank you for adding the link to your blog.I got some great ideas for Nathan's First Birthday!
hugs
Nikki
Renee,
Acceptance is a laudable, though very difficult, goal. Being able to simply letting the past "be" can be very tough. I like to say that the past simply "is". The only thing we can effect is the future, so we might as well move forward.
Good luck to you.
{{ Renee}}I wish i can say more than just giving u hugs.
I can relate in many ways..The reply have been very thought provoking..I thank u for that.
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