Judging Abby's mommy

Number One Daughter is heartbroken, but not as heartbroken as Abby and her mommy.

• Abby is a child in Number One Daughter's class at school.
• Abby is six.
• Abby is in the first grade.
• Abby has one brother and one sister.
• Abby has to go to a new school.

Abby's last day in Number One Daughter's class was yesterday. Everyone in the class made a card for Abby. Number One Daughter said that her card said, "I love you." on the outside.

Abby, her brother and sister have been removed from their mother's care. Number One Daughter told me the story through her eyes this morning. And my eyes are still moist with tears.

"Abby has to live with her grandma and go to a new school on Monday. Her mom has to get a job before Abby can live with her again. And Abby was crying and I kept doing this," Number One Daughter demonstrated crying up to the sky. Then she continued, "Everybody made a card for her and she made a card for everybody. I like Abby."

If you are a Judging Amy fan, you will be thinking about Maxine Gray and DCF and court and the removal of children from their parents. It is a blessing that Abby's grandma can take them in...That she is willing and able to take in her grandchildren.

I wonder about Abby's mom. Is she the victim of circumstance? Is she unable to find a job? Can she not afford daycare? What is it in Abby's life that caused this ripping apart of a family? How I wish that I had known. How I wish that I could have helped.

I want to believe that Abby's mommy has hit bad times and that this one an injustice. I want to believe that she will find a job and be able to get her children back soon. I don't want to think about addictions and all that.

And all of a sudden it occurs to me that I don't know at all whether or not Abby's mom is moving in with her mother, too. Was this a court thing? Or was it circumstance and necessity? Did a marriage fail and now a stay at home mom is running home for comfort and support and care? I have no idea why I was so quick to jump to the conclusion that Abby was actually removed from her mom's custody. And I am shamed by it.

"You can also call her Abigail," Number One Daughter explained, "but I like 'Abby' best. It is short and pretty."

"It won't take a long time for her mom to find a job," Number One Daughter said later. Then she goes off to watch a video or play with Little Big Boy. She keeps flitting in and out of my presence bestowing little bits of her sorrow on my lap. Her mind continues to work the problem and try to make sense of it. Each time she comes in my room, I wonder if she is going to ask me the question. The one question that I wonder if she is worrying about.

Then it comes with a serious face and wrinkled brow: "Mommy, will I have to go live with Grandma. You don't have a job." Ah, I tell her, I have the BEST job; my job is taking care of you. And she flits back out with a skip and peace reigns in her world again.

"I miss Abby," she tells me. Yes, Honey, I know that you miss her. The best thing that you can do for her is to pray that she gets everything that she needs at her grandma's house. Let's pray for her together. And we do. Then silently, I pray that Abby and her family will be able to get on their feet and be reunited it they are separated or find the courage to overcome these difficult times, regardless of circumstances.

And I end my prayer with a plea that God give her a friend who will love her as much as Number One Daughter does.